it's relatively late in the game for me to start a blog about this, but here i am. my fiance left for iraq in may 2008 and is supposed to be returning in march 2009. being here without him is by far the hardest thing i ever had to do, but it's all worth it. he is the most incredible guy i have ever met. even if he hadn't asked me to marry him before he left i would have waited for him. his unit had four days of leave between training and their delpoyment to see their families and friends before they left. he arranged for us to stay in a bed and breakfast for two nights and took me out to fancy restaurants. the first night, we went on a walk around a lake, and in the middle of the bridge asked me to marry him. it was perfect. the next day we picked out my ring together and started planning right away. we set our date for sept 2009 so the planning is really up to me. so far everything is in place, i even have my dress. i told myself i wasn't going to start seriously looking until january but in june or july i fell in love with my dress and that was the end of that. i picked two very close friends to be my maid of honor and my bridesmaid. we're keeping the bridal party small, just four people. the best man is a very close friend of my fiance's and the 1 groomsman is my older brother. we're not having a flower girl or ring bearer because it's an adults only shindig. there would have been a lot of kids so this way the budget gets a bit of a break and it's just a less chaotic atmosphere/
anyway, today has been rough. i've been spoiled and for a while i was hearing from my fiance every day. so when a full day goes by that i don't get an email or a phone call, i can't help but worry about him. he is stationed in mosul, they just moved there from fallujah. their last few weeks or so in fallujah were spent on the base, so i knew he was safe. i don't know much about mosul, so i'm not as comfortable with it yet. i just can't wait until they head out to kuwait in january, then i can rest easy. i know the time between now and then will pass, with it being the holiday season and everything. (i work two jobs, a receptionist at an engineering firm and a sales associate at a coldwater creek store. with my retail hours skyrocketing after thanksgiving, it'll go by even faster.) but at the same time the holidays are going to be tough. i expect his family will invite me over for christmas. it's so hard to be around them with him gone. i had to leave a christening party early because i felt a rush of tears coming on. that's a part of my life that i obviously associate with him and it's so hard to be around them and not get emotional. i was babysitting his sisters (they're 8 and 12 and amazing) and his little sister said that she liked the blankets from chris's (my fiance) room better than the ones in the living room because they smelled like him. i can't say i avoid his family now, but at the same time i can't say that i don't avoid them. it's a tough place to be in. the only person i really share my feelings about him being away with is him. i don't talk to my friends about it because for one thing, i don't expect any of them to understand and i also hate getting emotional in front of other people. i'm okay with him he seeing my weaknesses. there is no one else out there that can pick me up when i'm down the way that he does. he is incredible.
happy veteran's day
